The devastated woman thought she had hit the jackpot when she met her partner until she found out what he had been up to behind the scenes on social media
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Trust is the most important part of any relationship so when that is shattered it can be incredibly hard to recover from it. Deciding whether to stick with it or walk away and move on is a major decision and one a heartbroken woman found herself in after discovering the partner she loved dearly wasn’t all he professed to be.
Having been with her boyfriend for 15 months she thought she knew him pretty well and with a string of bad relationships under her belt, she thought she had no reason to doubt him, especially since he treated her so well.
“From the start up until April this year things had been great, we get on so well and he made me feel like his universe,” she explained in a post on Netmums. “I was so happy and didn’t give me any concern to not trust him. My past relationships have gave (sic) me trust issues but I thought I had hit the jackpot when I met him as he seemed so different.”
The 45-year-old woman also revealed that her partner, 59, had been going through a divorce when she met him and she supported him through some tough times so felt they were really close – until she made an awful discovery on social media. “In April I found out he had been sending flirty messages to a woman he has on his instagram who is from Italy,” she said. “He shares a lot of photography on his Instagram so has a lot of followers from all over the world.
“This woman uploads photos of herself and he had been commenting back on them saying how sexy and delicious she is followed with flaming hot emogis (sic) etc. I felt like my heart had been ripped out when I seen (sic) these. The comment had been going on before I met him. And to know he had been messaging someone else commenting on them like this through all the great times we shared made me feel sick.”
After confronting her boyfriend, he apologised and closed down his Instagram account. He also attempted to explain his actions: “He said it had become a habit for so long, when she posted a picture and it came up he just felt he had to reply which I thought was a awful (sic) excuse.”
Asking other Netmum users for advice, she revealed her predicament: “I don’t know what to do anymore as I love him and thought I could get over this and forget and things would get better but my trust has gone. Feel torn as would miss him terribly but something tells me I should end this relationship.”
It’s fair to say the responses to her love dilemma were totally unanimous as to the course of action she should take – with many sharing their own experiences of shattered trust in relationships. One woman was spectacularly honest and brutal with her conclusion on the situation and men in general based on her experiences. She wrote: “My honest opinion is: most men cheat. Even when they don’t do it physically, they do it in their heads all the time. Men reading this will say I’m being unfair, that not all men are like that, or that women are just as bad. But I genuinely believe that the term ‘faithful’ means something completely different to MOST men than to MOST women.”
She went on to say that she believes women are not only physically faithful but mentally faithful too and generally don’t even look at other men or have the need to flirt. “But to most men I’ve met,” she raged, “flirting while in a relationship is perfectly acceptable. I’m sure you’ve been at the receiving end of that kind of behaviour yourself.
“Don’t think those men were an exception. Of course men are more careful now than they used to be, especially at work, because of the rise in awareness around sexual harassment and the fact that most of us won’t take their crap any more. But they still try to get away with it as much as they can, because it’s like a drug to them. Social media and dating apps are perfect environments for them to get their daily fix, so they latch onto those platforms.”
Summing up her somewhat depressing opinion, she told the woman she always had the option of being single or having relationships with women instead to, “take a break from those testosterone machines”.
Other posters fully backed the rant. One simply replied: “Amen,” while a 45-year-old woman who said she is yet to find a man that is any different, agreed: “That is the single most honest and spot on reply I have ever seen. It may not be the most popular because I think it cuts close to the bone but I think you are being completely honest, open and logical and have put exactly what I have suspected for so long in a nutshell.”
Another “loved” the searing response and shared her story of heartbreak. She revealed she is now a single mum with a 20-month-old son who she had with her ex via IVF. While they were having the treatment, he was sleeping with other women which has resulted in her son having a half sibling, three months older than him. She advised: “LISTEN to your gut, not your heart. It will be tough because you are in love, but get rid. It’s only going to get worse. I have a child with this person, you don’t, run for the hills whilst you can.”
Do you agree? Let us know in the comments below.